All right, since I have a lazy Sunday ahead of me, we'll give this a try. Basically, it works just like a Choose Your Own Adventure novel: I write a little snippet that culminates in a cliffhanger and a series of options, and the first person to reply gets to select the option that most appeals to them. (I should probably warn you now that, in keeping with the spirit of the CYOA books--and, for that matter, Boston Legal--these options will tend toward the cracktastic.)

This continues until Alan discovers the treasure trove hidden in the boiler room of CP&S, meets his doom in a pit of writhing snakes, or I lose interest.

Anyone is welcome to comment. You don't need to have Alan friended!


The new regime took a dim view of tardiness—they’d conveyed as much in a meeting consisting largely of stern looks supplemented by the occasional PowerPoint slide—and accordingly Alan made a point, whenever possible, of arriving to work a few minutes late. It meant losing out on the choicest pastries and the freshest coffee, but adherence to principle demanded certain sacrifices.

Today he set down his briefcase at 9:23, took a seat behind his desk, and began what promised to be a long and arduous slog through a contract in need of invalidation. Fortunately, it wasn’t long before something stirred near the doorway.

Alan looked up to see…


A) Denny Crane!
B) Carol Danvers’ feral feline
C) His younger self
D) A partner intent on reprimanding him
E) Rahm Emanuel